sex, drugs and rock n roll

What the hell is happening to me??

Yesterday I was at a friend’s home party. She lives really close so I thought that I could drink a little. Well, I did, and I even smoked some weed. It was supposed like the good old times but… it wasn’t. Something was missing and I really don’t know what. Maybe it was because I didn’t drink that much, maybe because I couldn’t dance or anything, I don’t know. I just know that it didn’t feel like it used to.

I was relaxed and the company was okay, mainly people from my class + some random dudes. Yet I felt strangely detached of it all, I just couldn’t have fun like I used to. I hope things will go back to normal when I can walk normally again. It’s not like partying is the most important thing in my life or anything but it’s my way of having fun, of relaxing. I want that good feeling back; I want to be the life of the party again.

My friend in Australia has apparently taken a liking to acid and pills. I don’t really know what to think about it. I mean, I do weed, but I’ve never touched anything ‘heavier’ and I probably never will. Weed is after all pretty harmless, no more dangerous than cigarettes or alcohol. Acid on the other hand… well, I guess it’s acceptable every now and then in a party or something but my friend just said that she’d been tripping out at school, some after-effect of acid. I don’t want her to get herself into any kind of trouble… Thank god she’s coming back here in a couple of months, the drug culture here is a bit different and stuff like acid is harder to get.

I’m starting an extreme diet today. It’s nothing special, just controlling what I eat more carefully than before, not eating if I don’t know what the food contains etc. We’ll see how it goes.