Why is it that with men everything is always so goddamn complicated!
Right now there is guy1 who is in my class and he’s really smart, nice, funny etc, basically everything a girl can hope for. I guess we have something going on. We talk a lot, a few weeks ago we spent hours freezing our asses off outside, just talking about life and it was really nice. Yet I don’t think I like him in that way, you know. He’s more like a really good friend.
Then there’s guy2 who I talk to nearly every day as well. He’s also smart, nice etc, and I think I feel something for him. The problem is that he broke up with his girlfriend (or actually I don’t think she was an actual gf yet, they’d known each other for a few months or so) about a week ago, it’s way too soon for me to make any moves on him. We might be going to a trip together later this month though ;)
Then there is the Ex. I slept over at his last weekend but that was… well, pretty weird. I just didn’t feel like I used to and I think I might be finally realizing that he’s not that great. He’s a pathological liar and what was so exciting and new about him before is now losing its charm. He’s starting to feel boring. Which is really good, but somehow… I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m ready to let go. It’s been 2 years of on and off, it’s not normal anymore, is it? :D
On the outside there’s no problem but emotionally I feel really torn. I like guy1 a lot but I’m not sure if I’m interested in being anything more than friends. I like guy2 also a lot but then there’s his ex. I don’t know if I like my ‘the Ex’, I don’t know what to say to him when the next booty call comes. I don’t even know if I want a man in my life.
Argh, I’ve always thought that I’m sensible, simple and straightforward when it comes to all this emotional shit. Now I’m really confused, I’m not used to being confused and I’m not used to things getting too complicated. I know I’m in a way creating the problem myself but nevertheless there still IS a problem.
The truth is, as scary as it sounds, I might be ready for a real relationship.